How to Make a Sprite Comic in 8 Easy Bits

From Crazysweater

Struck with inspiration, The Guy tells his ex-girlfriend that he was born to make a Sprite Comic, but fails to decide which characters to use, as most are taken. So he calls a Tetris block he dated in High School for some reason and hires some of her friends. They are annoying so he abandons them in Canada by telling them they were going on a picnic.

He then blackmails a Principal into letting him use a gymnasium to host interviews for his sprite comic, but Myer is the only character who showed up. He was dismissed immediately. Because he was the only one who did show up, The Guy contemplates a Deadly Towers Sprite Comic. He for some reason thought he could win a pulitzer prize with a non-Deadly Towers sprite comic.

The Guy's Ex-girlfriend go to a Waffle House but flee to IHOP because the waiter can't get orders right and when you complain he beats the shit out of you. On their way to IHOP, Myer tells The Girl how his life sucks and stuff.

Meanwhile The Guy hires the guy from Spelunker, who dies while Guy explains how he's so much better than Myer. During the funeral, The Guy, his Friend, and the Priest guy discuss the awesomeness of Metroid: Zero Mission. After a Clerks-esque conversation about Emo Music, Guy and Myer finally start agreeing with eachother enough to form a feasible relationship.

Back in Canada, the Tetris blocks are being boiled alive by a scary tree thing guy and reminisce about the Good Ol' Times. The game Tetris is not mentioned.

After negotiating payment, Myer realizes that The Guy is incredibly frugal. Seemingly forgetting that, they discuss Guy's premise for the comic. Which Fails for multiple reasons, one being that it has nothing to do with Myer. The Guy then has a heart attack because he hasn't slept since hiring the Tetris blocks. After having his stomache pumped, Guy still has enough caffeine in his system to keep him awake without poisoning him.

In another discussion over Myer's Payment, Guy quickly changes the subject to politics and then too Capcom vs Sammy. Which apparently has everything to do with politics. But Myer changes the subject back to his pay, and they agree that he gets nothing but he can live in the Guy's apartment. Guy then introduces Myer to his Arch Enemy.

Meanwhile somwhere, scientists discover an active Volcano in Canada (which one names Carl) that explodes and saves the Tetris blocks.

Myer then asks Guy if there are any grocery stores or anything, but Guy and his Friend have aparently been kicked out of everywhere except White Castle and the Mall. It is at the mall where they meet Chris, who is now a disgruntled Rent-a-Cop, who by the time he meets The Guy; had blown up a guy who was stealing from the wishing fountain and quit. He was then hired to do the sprite comic, and brought to The Guy's apartment. They had left Myer and the pretzels that they had bought behind.

This article is incomplete but is more important than any other incomplete articles. Fix it NOW.