Don't throw your life away!

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YOU: The Normandy's gone! All we can do is make sure we survive!

JOKER: Was that any diffferent to the Renegade option?

YOU: Well... I say "Gone" instead of "Dead".

JOKER: Not really, then.

YOU: I'm sure the options widen out later.

You are both interrupted by the arrival of LASERS.

Joker quickly decides to stop JERKING AROUND and you both race to the ESCAPE PODS. Joker is able to survive in THE PITILESS VACUUM OF SPACE with only a BREATHING MASK, possibly because he's voiced by SETH GREEN.

JOKER: They're coming around for another attack!

You get JOKER into the escape pod, but are suddenly thrown out by an EXPLOSION. The LASER blazes through your route to the POD, and you heroically press a button to eject the pod and save SETH. Another EXPLOSION rocks you back as the NORMANDY falls apart. Buffetted by the WRECKAGE, you are thrown into THE VOID. Your suit leaking, your crew dead, you fall down towards the planet below.

You die. For a brief moment your corpse becomes a falling star reflected on the planets cold surface as the camera pans up and fades out to the title.


MESS EFFECT 2

A terribly-named Choose-your-own Adventure parody.

Huge Mass Effect 2 spoilers will follow. In-jokes will be commonplace. ME2 fans welcome.

Inspired by Mock Effect.


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