Insist on a three-for-one trade

From Create Your Own Story

Starting to get angry at the way this bitch is trying to rip you off you raise your voice, "I've had enough of your sales patter. I know what girls like you're offering go for and I know what girls like the one I'm offering go for, and I'm offering you a deal so good I'm practically begging you to pick my pocket. If you don't have the authority to make the deal, put your boss on the line. I'm sure he'll have the brains to recognize a good deal when he hears one."

"One moment, Sir, I'll see if he's available."

A smug feeling comes over you as you realize the bimbo on the other end of the line is probably just some girl like the three you want who'd gotten too mature and sexy for the Exchange's clientele. She is probably just jealous that you want all three girls when no one had wanted her and the Exchange ended up having to keep her. You settle into a little fantasy of a mid-twenties hottie answering phones all day dressed up in mary janes and pig tails hoping one of the office staff will bother to sexually harass her. Between your fantasy and continuing to diddle the blonde through multiple orgasms, you completely lose track of how long you've been on hold.

Right up until the sniper's bullet shatters the rear window of your van shortly before decorating the blonde with your brain matter. You'll never know that the woman you spoke with doesn't have a boss. She's the daughter of the founder of the MP Exchange and vowed to continue her beloved father's work after she accidentally fucked him into a massive, fatal coronary when she was only fifteen. Not willing to put up with any more attitude from a Beta associate, she used a burner phone to give the police an anonymous tip-off that an armed and dangerous sicko was molesting a child in a van outside the costume shop. (Too bad you forgot to turn off the automatic gps-based geotagging before taking that picture.) The last thing you experience as your spirit lifts free of your shattered body and floats away is the little blonde going, "Ew! Mister, you got your goo all over me again!"

The End