Review: Awake
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Heyoeveryone (Talk | contribs) (Created page with ''''Title:''' Awake '''Author:''' Natedog807 ''Pages:'' 31 '''Preview:''' ''You wake up from a violent dream of many killers. You rub yor head and feel …') |
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'''Preview:''' ''You wake up from a violent dream of many killers. You rub yor head and feel a large bruise. You get up and look down. You find a handgun with nine bullets and a wallet drenched in blood with a police badge and an I.D. card with the name Mike Alan Snyder. you look forward and see three roads. one going to the left, right, and one going straight.'' | '''Preview:''' ''You wake up from a violent dream of many killers. You rub yor head and feel a large bruise. You get up and look down. You find a handgun with nine bullets and a wallet drenched in blood with a police badge and an I.D. card with the name Mike Alan Snyder. you look forward and see three roads. one going to the left, right, and one going straight.'' | ||
| - | '''Review:''' You know the feeling when you wake up | + | '''Review:''' You know the feeling when you wake up and you're really tired and don't really have the motivation doing anything? Well, that's what this story felt like to me, tired (XD). Why? Well the story is extremely underwhelming, a basic arc which only lasted five minutes, barely enough time to keep interest. What concerns me the most is that this story ''could'' have been something special, something amazing, yet, the author decided to make it just another story among the large array in this website. |
Pages aren't exactly 'large' either. Most being around one to two lines, quite a shame too. This story could have been brought to life if the writer invested more time into the writing more than the amount of pages he had. | Pages aren't exactly 'large' either. Most being around one to two lines, quite a shame too. This story could have been brought to life if the writer invested more time into the writing more than the amount of pages he had. | ||
Revision as of 08:58, 16 November 2011
Title: Awake
Author: Natedog807
Pages: 31
Preview: You wake up from a violent dream of many killers. You rub yor head and feel a large bruise. You get up and look down. You find a handgun with nine bullets and a wallet drenched in blood with a police badge and an I.D. card with the name Mike Alan Snyder. you look forward and see three roads. one going to the left, right, and one going straight.
Review: You know the feeling when you wake up and you're really tired and don't really have the motivation doing anything? Well, that's what this story felt like to me, tired (XD). Why? Well the story is extremely underwhelming, a basic arc which only lasted five minutes, barely enough time to keep interest. What concerns me the most is that this story could have been something special, something amazing, yet, the author decided to make it just another story among the large array in this website.
Pages aren't exactly 'large' either. Most being around one to two lines, quite a shame too. This story could have been brought to life if the writer invested more time into the writing more than the amount of pages he had.
One good thing I have to say is the choices and how they flow in, an average of around three options per page, your sure to have enough choice to move on in the story. Awake also features the popular status bar, while not used to it's fullest potential (MP and Level not used at all), it makes the story seem more polished than it actually is.
Grammar seems to be also top notch, no real grammar errors to be found throughout my quick read. Nevertheless, the page size of Awake isn't that hard to check for errors either.
In the end, Awake feels like a story that could and should have been something special, yet it never goes outside the box. Maybe, just maybe, someone out there in the world can come in and add more text to make this story more interesting.
Score: 4/10
Side Note: This is actually the first 'Bad' review I've done
