User:Josie eats babies
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m (User:Josie moved to User:Josie eats babies) |
Revision as of 11:06, 29 March 2008
| Real Name | Josie |
|---|---|
| Registration Date | August 03, 2007 |
| Rank | SwimVIP |
| Regulars | Action Discussion |
Contents |
The beginnings
Josie was born on a small island in the middle of the ocean. The island had a tradition of frying male infants and feeding them to 8-year-old girls as a sacrifice to their gods. After Josie’s parents realized that her twin sister was actually a boy they escaped the island and moved to a continent. When Josie was 6 she discovered Dungeons and Dragons while hanging out with the “bad kids” and even beat up her twin brother for stealing her dice. Since then her twin brother has hated Josie causing problems for her later in life. On Josie’s 10th birthday she was kidnapped by a Motley Crue groupie who reeked of cheap vodka and cat urine. This woman was known as Janis. Janis raised Josie teaching her all the necessities of being a groupie. She taught Josie how to do her makeup and hair (the trampier the better), hold her liquor, trick the bouncer into letting you in, get in with the band, sleep with the bassist if you have to, then the drummer then finally the lead singer. She also got Josie addicted to music, which is why Josie twitches when there is no music being played. Later Janis(who was already in her mid-seventies) was replaced by a new generation of groupies and took Josie to live a quiet life in New York City. Josie missed living on the road and shortly before her 12th birthday she bought a bus ticket out of New York City and onto the open road. Sadly, Janis knew what Josie was up to and called the police who brought Josie back home to Janis.
Josie Meets a Singing Chinchilla
One night Janis passed out after a wild night of partying with Crass, Josie escaped and found herself in the city of lights. That’s right she ended up in some dinky little town in the middle of Idaho. She wander around for a while until she found a cute little baby abandon in the ally. Josie fried the baby up and ate it. That’s when Josie met her future lover. A chinchilla. The chinchilla was no ordinary chinchilla. It could sing. The problem was the chinchilla could only sing Lita Ford songs from the 80’s such as “kiss me deadly” “one shot of poison” and “only women bleed”. Josie and Lita Ford the chinchilla teamed up together helping each other out. Josie got Lita Ford the chinchilla raisins and Lita Ford the Chinchilla found Josie fresh babies.
==Josie meets her twin brother ==
One day after having lunch Josie ran into her long lost twin brother Jose! Josie of course didn’t know it was Jose at first. Jose had turned into the classic emo stereotype. He had the dark hair flipped to one side, the dark clothes, the cuts on his wrists, the smeared black eyeliner. Yes, he was the emo Jose. Josie knowing her brother had turned to the dark side went to the only person she knew who could help-Janis. Janis refused to help. Josie cried, begged, played guitar, and even offered to prostitute herself to save her twin brother. Finally fed up with Janis, Josie called her a “old hag with a sagging vagina” and left. Josie passed by a club that was playing some sort of computer music. Josie later learned that it was called French electronic music. Josie forgot about her emo twin brother for a few years because she was too busy partying.
YEARS LATER
One day after a night of dancing Lita Ford brought Josie her mail. Josie's birth parents wrote her a letter saying that Jose had became so emo that he ended up locking himself in the closet. Also they wrote that Josie had a new little sister- Yachiru Chichi Rini Rukia Talho Lucy Levi Gloria Tuxedo Mask Pikachu Mudkip L. They call her Fritos for short because the only thing she would eat was Frito Lays. Josie knew she had to save her newborn sister from the cruel world and decided to eat her. The night Josie snuck into her sister’s room she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t eat her beautiful little sister and kidnapped her instead. Now Josie, Lita Ford and Fritos travel the world in a small 1823 Boeing-223F airplane.
How Josie gets her babies
Despite leaving her native island Josie’s parents still believe in the tradition of feeding males to their daughters. Josie soon realized that babies were a delicacy and now eats them on a frequent basis. Sometimes when she cannot find abandon children in dumpsters she dresses up as an old women and kidnaps babies from the hospital. Other times she will go to an orphanage and adopt the child then eat it. Josie’s favorite method of getting children is sneaking into homes and just walking out the door with a sleeping infant. Usually the parents notice but they do not care because they are too busy making more babies. There has been times when Josie has been caught kidnappig a baby. This is where Lita Ford and Fritos come in singing popular 80’s hits such as “Time after time” “Like a virgin” “I melt with you” and the always-popular Devo song “Whip It”. This distracts the police and bystanders long enough for Josie to get away.
Random things about Josie
- Josie gets nervous around real and fake swords. A boy once attacked her with a wooden sword and her parents kept the photographic evidence.
- Josie writes fan fictions. Josie also hates the people who read them but at the same time loves them and wants to hug them.
- Josie also writes Yuri fan fictions, but only when she’s not getting any love.
- Josie loves hairspray. She’s the reason why there is a hole in the ozone layer
- Josie hates crayons because they always break when she uses them.
- Josie hates children under 16. They usually have sticky fingers and Josie hates sticky fingers because then you get stuck to unwanted things.
- Josie has adopted twelve children and eaten eleven of them. One of them got lost on the way to the kitchen.
- Josie has not spoken to Janis, her birth parents or emo Jose for years. She does get birthday and Christmas cards from them though. Sometimes she’ll send them kit kat bars.
- The only meat Josie eats is babies.
- Josie is a Pokemon master
- Despite popular belief, Lita Ford is not Josie’s favorite singer. Her favorite singer is Karen O. of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She once proposed to Karen O. and got no response.
- Josie is too lazy to finish her wiki and left to watch a movie.
