Minor characters in Captain Martian

From Alterealitiky

Current revision as of 19:06, 15 May 2018

Martian's friends

Glen is his geeky friend who has a nihilistic plan to destroy Mars.

Stone is his Southern friend.

Dan Kanners is his friend who is always seen drinking a stout. He is a bartender and usually ends up serving the drinks.

Landock is his elite friend who owns a spaceship corporation.

Stanley is the manager of the beer parlor.

Hampton Mars is a member of the Comatose Cros frederation.

Other Members of the Guild of Fighters

Captain Herbert is Martian's main rival, who appears several times, usually trying to look better than Martian.

Lieutenant Williams is Herbert's lieutenant.

Admiral Kahrozingtoncroboy is the ancient croboy-like admiral who is portrayed as being a bit senile. He generally believes that Martian is one of his most incompetent space fighters.

Ensign Redshirt is an ensign. Deceased

Captain Willis is a liberal hippie captain who frequently appears to support some leftist cause.

The Tixhility Federation

A federation of jerks. Martian hates them.

Jake Remington is the founder, an elite noob-hater. He always tries to get the Captain in trouble.

Violent Action is the name of a tazzantrae worker. He has Good-Stout.

Saavedro is a crazy guy who says that profane word. He was fired for being useless.

Weirdo is Saavedro's friend.

Yams is a croboy.

The Interview Guy is a member who interviewed Martian once.

The Boss is the current head. Possibly the same as Jake Remington.

Guild of Teachers

Teachers at Marshaus School.

Mr. Frederickson is the math teacher who was charged with the thing that happened to Mellie Nuff and was sent to jail.

Mr. Ardmore is the history teacher with a Minnesota accent.

Mr. Cayonhos is the Klingon language teacher. He has violent fantasies of Klingons ruling the Mars, and spawned an evil race of Klingons in one episode.

Mr. Rolatius is the shop teacher.

Cameron Fen is a homosexual music teacher. He is gay. He's also homo.

Yolanda Beinstein is a snobby hottie teacher of Babula.

Principal S. Word is the principal. He is very PC.

Yoish Moish is the coach and Martian's neighbor.

Guild of Newscasters

A bunch of lousy newscasters.

Mayo Haus is the main news-caster who has a giant butt that he always tries to hide. He is made fun of for his accent.

Flinty Pete is the newscaster featured when Mayo Haus is somewhere else. A redneck.

Trixie Keenston is a hottie female news caster seen in one episode. She is based on Trixie Keenston from "The Little Dog".

Yokel Jeb is an intern.

Wally is another newscaster, whose reports are usually about the current state of his own testicles. Deceased

Captain Martian was a temporary intern who ended up killing Wally after he joked about his testes.

Bob is the weatherman.

Guild of Jocks

Marshaus school's football team.

Darrenstein is the star quarterback.

Michael Stotengay and Assholea are the "lousy players".

Rockhouse is a black quarterback.

Walter is a halfback.

Yoish Moish is the coach.

Sam Handermont is a quarterback who used steroids. When the coach found out, he was castrated and thrown out of the football team. Castrated

People in Charge

President of Mars is the president of the United States of Mars. He is extremely liberal and hates Sir Robert McAlpine.

Mayor Henderburg is the black mayor of the unnamed city that Captain Martian lives in.

Fred Jackson is an extremely rich guy who owns an Elitist Snobs federation. He thinks he is better than everyone else.

Fictional characters

These characters aren't real even in the Captain Martian world.

David is Martian's imaginary friend. He is alluded to several times by Martian.

The Street Man is a series of comic books centering on a character who gives criminals gruesome deaths. Parody of The Punisher.

Amelia is Streetman's trophy hottie.

Yugen is a thug the Street Man is seen killing. He is killed by having a Japanese lantern be thrown at his testicles. Deceased

Residents of Pygmiton

There's one in every STEYH-AHHTE.

Mukumugu is a shop-owning pygmy who smokes beer occasionally.

Girukongu is a farmer pygmy.

Roly Poly Weekenders Gmies are a group of terrorist pygmies. Captain Martian and Kimmage often try to destroy them.

Hurionoscos is a miner pygmy.

The Pygmy Queen is a hottie pygmy who can summon ultra-pygmies.

KONGOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is a KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRR leader of Pygmiton.

Lomxa Land

A patch of land in western Marsissippi about the size of a typical house. Its population is about 650. It is visited in the episode Guinness and Lomxa.

Jackson is a male tour guide. He claims to be a teetotaller, although he always has a beer in his hand. He is revealed to have a sexual attraction to beer.

Jade is a female tour guide.

Daisy April is a local hottie that Captain Martian wanted to marry. Crous and Assholea also have a crush on her, leading to a huge fight. Punchid eventually intervened and won the fight.

Egypt in Space

Egypt in Space is a theme park from one episode called "Egyptian Space".

Huioko Egypt is a guy met in the theme park who Martian befriended. Crous, Assholea, and Punchid thought Martian was gay because of this. Oh well, their (itching) genitals.

Anubis is the villain of the episode. He summoned a bunch of space mummies.

Space mummies were sent by Anubis.

Landerfield is a guy who insults the park.

Owner is the evil unnamed owner.

The Highland Games

Seen in the episode "Highland Games".

Angus McBeef is a caber tosser who is a friend of Assholea. He bets all his father's money that Angus will win, but he loses to Mr. McGillicuddy.

Jolene is the cheerleader.

Mr. McGillicuddy is a rival caber tosser who ends up beating Angus McBeef, therefore causing Martian to lose all his money. He, unlike Angus McBeef, has an accent.

Others

Mr. and Mrs. Stout are Aussies who likes Aussie stout. They fit the age-old stereotype.

Commodore Guinness is the writer of the Guinness Book of Mummy Records, which Captain Martian hates.

Wilfred Mynglestine is a Saxon warrior cro.

Reids Jeb is a gun-selling croboy who advertises a lot.

Yoish Moish's wife is Yoish Moish's sexy battered wife.

Dennis the Rat is Jack the Rat's obese boyfriend.

Joe Jim Hoioie is Danietta's porkrinds father, who hates Captain Martian. He is a minor villain.

Ruth is Crous' unsexy girlfriend. It is possible that she is a lesbian.