FUCK TKF

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Revision as of 09:59, 23 May 2011 by Zana Dark (Talk | contribs)
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So.......... You are a sad, sad, sad, lonely, sad, sad, sad LONELY girl who has not been asked to the prom. Don't worry, I am here to save the day!

[edit] Method 1: Extortion

File:Extortion for Dummies.png
This book should help you commit the perfect extortion that will make him take you to the prom.

Extortion is a pretty effective method to get what you want. If you are willing to steal something beloved to your guy, then, give it back in exchange for something (in this case, him taking you to the prom), this is probably one of the best ways to do it! And victim my ass. A victim of this type of extortion by someone who would supposedly rape him afterwards, he would be so pissed off about it that he would immediately go running to the police and have that person's supremely shaped butt put into prison.

Here is a list of extortion paraphernailia that the typical guy likes:

  • Hot Girls
  • His iPod
  • His PSP
  • His Xbox
  • His TV
  • His Wii
  • His Wee Wee (Note: Holding a guy's Wee Wee and demanding that he take you to the prom is NOT recommended!)
  • His tickets to the Superbowl
File:The Big Gun.jpg
If his dad happens to be this guy, I would invest in Kevlar.

[edit] Method 2: Run at him with a Swiss-army knife

Running at him with as Swiss-army knife may also be a pretty good way to get him to the prom. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security issued an alert last week when they noticed a Swiss-army knife used as an attack weapon. Once it infects him, it conducts a speed test via one of 20 different WIFI servers to determine how much bandwidth needs to operate. From there it can perform all kinds of tasks, from stealing CDs and harvesting MP3 files, to sniffing his collar for cologne preferences. Analysts indicate the Swiss-army knife is less useful as tool, and more suited for creation of a prom date. These knives can sometimes be "leased" to your guy, for work, attacks, or even extortion, as outlined above.

If you want to use this method to attract your prom date, here are some tips:

  • Make sure that a phone is NOT anywhere near the scene of the attack.
  • Make sure that if you end up stabbing him that you stab him as he is walking home from his girlfriend's house in the dead of night.

[edit] Method 3: Strong-Arm him with Legal Jargon

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