INFINITY
From Wikipop
This page concerns itself with Infinite loops, to read about Infinite loops, see Infinite Loop.
For other uses, see Infinite.
[edit] Infinite Loop in Art
Example: (sing aloud with great vigor)
Chorus: This is the song that never ends, Yes it goes on and on my friends! Some people, started singing it, not knowing what it was, And they'll continue singing it forever just because: This is the song that never ends....." Chorus
[edit] Infinite Loop in Engineering
[edit] Standard
Example:
// JavaScript
for (var i = 0; i != 1.1; i++) {
alert ('In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU!!');
}
// ActionScript
for (var i = 0; i != 1.1; i++) {
trace ('In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU!!');
}
// PHP
for ($i = 0; $i != 1.1; $i++) {
echo 'In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU YOU!!';
}
// Java
for (int i = 0; i != 1.1; i++) {
System.out.println ('In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU YOU YOU!!');
}
// C++
for (int i = 0; i != 1.1; i++) {
std::cout << "In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!";
}
' Visual Basic Do MsgBox "In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!" Loop
[edit] Sophisticated
It is rumoured, that there are many other ways to loop in engineering. Some gurus claim they succeeded overheating their PC's and braines using such nonsense operations like "repeat", "do", "try", "while" or even bringing these statements in conncetion with "until", "each" etc.
Example:
' BASIC 10 PRINT "In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU!!" 20 GOTO 10
@ REM Batch @ ECHO OFF ECHO In Soviet Russia, Infinity loops YOU YOU!! %0
[edit] Infinite Loop in Nature
There is a lot of examples of infinite loops in the animal world as well. Although different scientific publications describe many cases of animal looping, the primary research is focused on the looping operations between an elephant and a mouse. The EleMaus Looping Model designed by Prof. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr... (red. notice: another sample of endless looping in science) Schrosch Tsihnjbulsky from the University of Essen in Germany defines following stages for the animal-oriented infinite looping:
1) Take an elephant,
2) Take a mouse,
3) Put the selected mouse into the proboscis of the selected elephant,
4) Stick the selected proboscis of the selected elephant into the anus of the selected elephant,
5) Run the selected mouse.
The simple, but effective EleMaus model, also called TTPSR-ENLM-1421DIN_C/43-12a-ISO9OOO for simplification, descibes simple symbiotic relations between two species in the animal world and can easily be transferred to other similar situations.
[edit] Infinite Loop in Daily Life
Another good explanation of the term "infinite loop" can provide daily situations. Following will describe many possible routines, that may be applied to the infinite loop in practise.
[edit] Situation 1
You can experience infinite loop by using your both mobile and stationary phone. Take the cellular in one hand and dial the stationary... Pick up the stationary and put it on your ear. You will probably hear some noises then, but never mind... Then shout loudly something like "Infinite loop, come to me!!!" and you will definitely hear strong feedbacks in the background. Your head may heat up and a splode, so be careful!
[edit] Situation 2
Another good impression of what actually infnite looping is can be delivered by putting two mirrors in front of each other. This situation has no practical use and will not be further discussed in detail.
The smartheads from NASA actually found a practical use for this. Just put two or more mirrors reflecting each other and fire a flashlight to one of them. Free light, wheee! That should lower your energy bill.
One use for this infinite loop is seeing the back of your head. You have to posistion it just right, but it works. Another use is tricking morons into thinking you have a clone army ready for the republic to use, with 10, 000 more troops on the way, but this is cruel to the moron and doesn't always work. Please avoid doing the same with Jehova's Witnesses!!!
[edit] Situation 3
The advanced method of learning infinite loop by practise requires hi-tech audio equipment. Switch the microphone to the device and bring it to the frontal side of you speaker. You will surely experience unique effect of accoustic infinite looping. You can also apply this knowledge to the approach already discussed in this article (see here) by simultanious singing.
[edit] Situation 4
The simplest way to know infinite loop however is just to click here all the time. Do not stop clicking... Do not stop... Do not stop... Do not stop...
“If in one hand we have an apple, and we are driving a car with the other, then when we take a bite of that apple and the car crashes into the back of another car - that is an imaginary number”
~ Einstein on adding confusion to what imaginary numbers are
Imaginary Numbers are defined in Mathematics as numbers so big, you can't even think about how big they are. However, a parallel school of thought claims that the concept of an imaginary number of based on the ancient Indian war game "I am thinking of a number from one to ten". A fair guess in this case would be seven (7)(VII), as the Indians have had the number placed in their minds for time everlasting, via government-sanctioned casino math. It is currently believed that the smallest imaginary number is approximately a google, which happens to be the income of a similarly named , but more capitalized, company.
[edit] History
Unwise men in the Ancient Kingdom of Araby were the first men to dabble in the field of Imaginary Number Theory,Shortly after their discovery in Araby, it was also discovered that one who had mastered this higher number theory could severely injure the minds of those less capable using number bullets. By the first Crusade, this technique had been mastered to such levels that the Arabic armies were able to utilise it as a weapon against the Christian animators, thus preventing excessive Christian usage of cartoons.
The introduction of the imaginary number to modern calculus was a disaster. Bar brawls between drunken mathematicians were commonplace, and Carl Friedrich Gauss held all real numbers from 45 to 8,349 hostage for 444 days in a vain attempt to repel the imaginaries. Today, i has taken hold in most aspects of mathematics, and all seven people who understand its use agree that its introduction was a mistake.
History and imaginary number have always been good friends as they have many things in common. Not only they are ancient, have huge impact on the society at large (with little emphasis on the gigantic structures of the past), attractive, mysterious(Sherlock Holmes may argue the other way round) but also hard to imagine, literally.:o
[edit] An Imaginary Number
Removed by the Society for the Preservation of Enough Laughing Llamas
Imaginary numbers are numbers that calculus has proven not to exist, despite their common appearance in daily life. Doctors believe that the perception of imaginary numbers is a reliable early warning for brain damage.
If you know of or have perceived any of the following numbers, please seek medical attention immediately.
- Ump
- Oodle
- 8
- 17
- 29
- 100
- e
- 1337
- 666
- 1024
- Any number between 1936 and 1944
- 1945
- 1984
- 1987
- this red number 7734
- That funny symbol Prince uses
These numbers should really never have existed, but it is because mathematicians have far too much time on their hands, that they made these up. Most mathematicians fantasize far too much, and it would be better for them to learn practical skills like novel writing and gardening, as that would limit the damage that is done to their brains.
[edit] The Unit Formerly Known As Failed to parse (Can't write to or create math temp directory): \\sqrt{-1}
Like some sort of psychic, the imaginetician Sir Isaac Newton invented Calculus because of a dare he made with his archnemesis Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz. However, Leibniz PWND Newton, promptly embraced and extended Newton's invention, and licensed it bundled with his binary system. Leibniz's harsh business practices forced mathematicians everywhere to seek a new system of numbers that would be free of the constraints of reality. These attempts cumulated in The Imaginary Unix, also known as The Unix for The Desktop, but this was percieved as an oxymoron and abandoned. Later, in the 18th century, German massuer Euler discovered an ancient Egyptian papyrus. Since he couldn't read hiroglyphics, he tossed the papyrus into his fireplace and went to sleep. He dreamt of the forumula Failed to parse (Can't write to or create math temp directory): e^{\\pi i}+1=0 . He didn't know what it meant. All of this was getting tedious, so Jebus intervened and handed Euler a thesis on the square root of minus one. It said, in so many words and graphs and elaborate formulas, that numbers don't have to be natural, or rational, or even stupid. Numbers could be completely made up, sometimes part real and part made up. This ushered the age of post-modern mathematics, "lateral" thinking, and "interpreted" views of reality. It made calculations in many areas of mathematics much easier, because they didn't have to make sense anymore. Euler became famous for this, thanks to Jesus, and even today German massuers use his invention to overprice their services. But you wouldn't know that, since you've never been to Germanistan.
The number infinity can be thought of as a sorta large number, like a million, only to the millionth power, and then some more. It took thousands of years of human day-dreaming for the concept of infinity to reach maturity, but then no one can really imagine exactly how much larger than the largest number you can think of is, or how much smaller than the smallest number you can think of its identical (but evil) twin negative infinity is.
[edit] Infinity: The Early Years
In the begining there was n. n was an element of N. This first natural number found himself constrained by the rules imposed on him by the first mathematictian, Urahg Ahagh!. Ahagh! discovered that objects in his world could be assigned what he would call Ooh, which would eventually evolve into the term we today use, numbers. His first discoveries were these:
- If something exists, it has a number x.
- When something exists, x >= 1
- When x something exists, and y something else exists, they have a new number z = x + y.
- When x something exists, and you kill 1 something, the new number z = x-1.
Ahagh! began to sum a large number of x's, but when he reached the number 19 he started doodling himself shooting an antelope and never returned to his problem again.
[edit] Infinity: In Ancient Greece
“Infinity? Shit, I don't know”
~ Socrates on Infinity
While Pythagoras was discovering the length of the sides of his club sandwiches, a less famous mathematician was working on his grounding breaking work on infinity. Socrates, best known for his shadow puppets, was using his discovery of infinity to prove that it is possible to win any argument on any subject despite not being an expect on the said subject just by repeating your opponents points in question form back to them. It was while talking to himself in the shower that Socrates became the first man to question the idea of infinity. The unknown philosopher passed his teaching down to Plato, the boy who had Socrates as an imaginary friend, where it would be lost to the sands of time for centuries. Despite his aknoledgment of ignorance on the topic of infinity, on being asked how much he hated Sparta, he responded "uh, times like, infinity!" Aristotle's column in Popular Mechanics, which was called "Fuck You, Socrates" admitted that Infinity did exist, but, along with frogs, was left from getting an entry into Encyclopedia Greekanica because infinity can breathe both air and water, and grows from mud.
[edit] Infinity: In Magic
Several weeks from now, an evil magician, Dr. Fibonacci was working on his favorite spell, the fibonacci sequence. The fibonacci sequence is one of the most powerful spells known to mathmagicians the world over. Unfortunately, the only effects of the spell are to make the magician look like a nerd, and prevent them from finding a copulate partner. The spell worked like this.
- I am lonely x 1
- I am lonely x 1
- I am lonely x 2
- I am lonely x 3
- I am lonely x 5
- I am lonely x 8
- I am lonely x 13
Eventually, the spell works to
- I am lonely x a sideways 8
- I am lonely x a sideways 8 ^ another sideways 8
(The character "^" is a term used in magic to define the type of motor being used.)
- I am lonely x a sideways 8 ^ another sideways 8 x some other shit
And henceforth, the more time spent on this spell, the more powerful its effects become, until reaching infinity, and farther.
[edit] Infinity: The War
During the colonial period, when the Infinity Empire was in its expansionist years, it clashed with the empire of Negativeinfinity. Both armies deployed columns of loyal numbers, with the ones farthest away from their respected leader at the front. The two forces met at ground zero, where there is now a monument on the number line, represented by a "0," or "zero" marker (taken from the 14th letter of the 1337 41f4637.) There is much dispute over the length of the war. Euclidean historians believe that since the war began at zero, therefore the war lasted for ever. Non-Euclidean historians believe that the war began with Emporer Infinity and Emporer Negativeinfinity and ended at zero. Therefore the war lasted for never. However, seeing how the disciplines of military history are still actively and fervently disputing the topic, that the war is still going on.
[edit] Some Infinity Quick Facts
- Cattle ranchers in the Amazon cut down infinity trees a day
- Cattle ranchers in the Wild West shot infinity buffalo a day
- Cattle ranchers sued Oprah for infinity dollars
- Oprah consumes a diet of infinity calories a day
- Oscar Wilde will have infinity quotes on any prestigeous website
- Infinity is how many monkeys it takes to type "Shakespeare." Not anything he wrote, just his name.
[edit] Imaginary Apples
Imaginary numbers are very simple. Let's say that you have one imaginary group, with one imaginary apple, then you owe me an apple. If this apple falls on your head you have imagining gravity which is mathematically equal to Failed to parse (Can't write to or create math temp directory): -9.81 m/s Simple.
[edit] Controversy Surrounding Imaginary Numbers
Starting in mid-1999, various religious groups gained notoriety by lobbying to prevent the teaching of imaginary numbers. As a school of thought, they are especially prevalent in the Bible belt, and adherents claim the movement grew out of a smaller, more liberal group which simply rejected strongly inaccessible cardinals.
These pious protests have caused much confusion amongst the general population, which had become accustomed to religious groups endorsing the teaching of imaginary things. Below is an excerpt from the very first article to mention the debate in a major news outlet. It ran in a September 1999 edition of the Daily Groin.
Education watchdog group wants atheism out of mathematics
Wichita, Kansas, September 5, 1999
The Citizens Committee for American Education (CCAE), a Wichita-based public education watchdog group, filed a petition yesterday with the Kansas Board of Education, demanding that imaginary numbers be removed from public high school mathematics curricula.
The petition was filed in the wake of the Kansas board’s controversial decision to make teaching of biological evolution optional in public schools. It claims that imaginary numbers are taught as a part of "complex number theory" and insists that only facts, not theories, should be taught in public schools.
Imaginary numbers are usually taught in high school algebra, and students learn to manipulate quantities that are square roots of negative numbers. Detractors hold these to be in contradiction of chapter 19 of the book of Numbers in the Bible, specifically verses 2 through 14:
And lo, if thou multipliest a number by itself again, yea, even in the joining of two copies of the same number in holy Multiplication, verily shalt thou obtain a nonnegative number; not below zero, nor even below minus one, but above them in the usual ordering of the integers, and righteously shalt thou put the plus sign in front of thy result, unless it be zero, in which case abstain thee of writing either the plus or minus sign, but leave it plainly zero. So sayeth the Lord.
Traditional mathematicians point out that this section denies the existence of any numbers besides the integers, and that the world's economy depends on rational numbers to account for cents. This turned out to be another sensitive issue with the faithful, and in a telephone interview CCAE spokesman Bo Jangles angrily replied that “the term rational number is insulting to christians of all denominations. There is nothing irrational in looking to the Bible for mathematical guidance. What is irrational is burning in hell forever just because of so-called fractions."
Jangles' main concern however, were complex numbers, and he declared CCAE to be worried: "Numbers that are imaginary or make-believe show just how far secular-humanist new-age thinking has corrupted the education of our young people. If children are taught that it's OK to make up numbers with convenient properties when you need them, doesn't this send a message that it's OK to make up a God with convenient characteristics as well? Would you like your child to say that he or she has just defined a God that approves of drugs and orgies?�?
Kansas State University Mathematics Department chairman, Hrundi V Bakshi commented on the petition saying “[These people] are kooks who know nothing about mathematics and want to pass laws to make sure no one else knows anything. Complex number theory is the basis of science and that won’t change even if Kansas decides to return to the Stone Age.�? The Board of Education declined official comment on the petition, however Dennis Clapp, a past board member said “It’s important to clean up our schools and get back to basics, leaving out atheistic math and evolution. We owe it to the kids�?.
