Dixie Militia

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==Composition==
==Composition==
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The Dixie Militia is unique among the regional guards of other states and regions because it is composed of both flaming homosexuals, as well as flaming bisexuals. Heterosexuals are not allowed as they cause the Governor to "chafe down in his Dixieland". Dixie law defines a member of the unorganized militia as any person over the age of 16 capable of bearing arms in the defense of the region. Most members of the Dixie Militia who are not regular National Guard soldiers are volunteers, donating their time to the common defense, as well as providing much of their own arms, equipment, and lubricant.
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The Dixie Militia is unique among the regional guards of other states and regions because it is composed of both regular National Guard units, as well as Organized and Unorganized Militia. Dixie law defines a member of the unorganized militia as any person over the age of 16 capable of bearing arms in the defense of the region. Most members of the Dixie Militia who are not regular National Guard soldiers are volunteers, donating their time to the common defense, as well as providing much of their own arms and equipment.
==Parades and Reviews==
==Parades and Reviews==
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Dixie law provides for an "Fabulous Fanfair" of the regional militia, which in recent years has evolved into an annual parade and fashion show. In 2010 and 2011 this review was held in Sarasota, Florida. During the 2011 Militia Review, a bomb exploded on the parade route, interrupting the festivities briefly as it's hard to have sex with shredded human flesh all over you. The review was subsequently cancelled, but Governor [[Vincent Halfhyde]] has declared his intention to reschedule the parade for later in the year, this time even more fabulous as a bold defiance of the homophobes.
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Dixie law provides for an "annual encampment" of the regional militia, which in recent years has evolved into an annual parade and review. In 2010 and 2011 this review was held in Sarasota, Florida. During the 2011 Militia Review, a bomb exploded on the parade route, killing several militia volunteers and one spectator. The review was subsequently cancelled, but Governor [[Vincent Halfhyde]] has declared his intention to reschedule the parade for later in the year.
==Laws and Controversy==
==Laws and Controversy==
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Protests against the Dixie Militia, usually during the review parades, are generally small although the protestors can become extremely vocal in their objections. Most controversy stems around the assertion that the Dixie Militia is "full of homosexuals", despite the active participation of persons of all repressed sexualities in the National Guard and the volunteer militia units. Such allegations in part stem from the structure and uniforms of the militia being extremely colorful, with lace and ruffles and buttons and miniskirts, as well as Governor Halfhyde's reverence for muscular young men carrying long rifles.
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Protests against the Dixie Militia, usually during the review parades, are generally small although the protestors can become extremely vocal in their objections. Most controversy stems around the assertion that the Dixie Militia is "racist", despite the active participation of ethnic minorities in the National Guard and the volunteer militia units. Such allegations in part stem from the structure and uniforms of the militia being similar to that of the former Confederate States Army, as well as Governor Halfhyde's reverence for traditional Southern culture.
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Other objections are against laws written that forbid "homophobic or other disparaging comments" about the Dixie Militia or its members while in uniform or on other official duty. In 2010, protestors were arrested and charged under these laws after causing a disturbance during the militia review in Sarasota.
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Other objections are against laws written that forbid "insults or disparaging comments" about the Dixie Militia or its members while in uniform or on other official duty. In 2010, protestors were arrested and charged under these laws after causing a disturbance during the militia review in Sarasota.

Current revision as of 20:05, 6 June 2007

The Dixie Militia, often commonly referred to as the Dixie Regional Guard, is the National Guard force charged with the defense of the superregion of Dixie. By law, the Dixie Militia is activated and commanded by the Governor, unless called up to Federal duty by the President.

[edit] Composition

The Dixie Militia is unique among the regional guards of other states and regions because it is composed of both regular National Guard units, as well as Organized and Unorganized Militia. Dixie law defines a member of the unorganized militia as any person over the age of 16 capable of bearing arms in the defense of the region. Most members of the Dixie Militia who are not regular National Guard soldiers are volunteers, donating their time to the common defense, as well as providing much of their own arms and equipment.


[edit] Parades and Reviews

Dixie law provides for an "annual encampment" of the regional militia, which in recent years has evolved into an annual parade and review. In 2010 and 2011 this review was held in Sarasota, Florida. During the 2011 Militia Review, a bomb exploded on the parade route, killing several militia volunteers and one spectator. The review was subsequently cancelled, but Governor Vincent Halfhyde has declared his intention to reschedule the parade for later in the year.


[edit] Laws and Controversy

Protests against the Dixie Militia, usually during the review parades, are generally small although the protestors can become extremely vocal in their objections. Most controversy stems around the assertion that the Dixie Militia is "racist", despite the active participation of ethnic minorities in the National Guard and the volunteer militia units. Such allegations in part stem from the structure and uniforms of the militia being similar to that of the former Confederate States Army, as well as Governor Halfhyde's reverence for traditional Southern culture.

Other objections are against laws written that forbid "insults or disparaging comments" about the Dixie Militia or its members while in uniform or on other official duty. In 2010, protestors were arrested and charged under these laws after causing a disturbance during the militia review in Sarasota.

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