Jack Barbara

From Speakeasy

Jack Barbara, also known as Codename Secret Agent 99 is a Special Agent of the FBI. In 1993, he was assigned to unique duty as a long term covert operative, and tasked with the infiltration of various American right-wing organizations. Together with Andreas Strassmeir, an ex-German soldier, and longtime FBI asset, Barbara began his odyssey to the heart of the American far-right. In 1997, he discovered the Internet, and began posting at a small forum and newsgroup called FreeRepublic.com. Barbara kept a low profile on this extreme-rightwing site dedicated to the impeachment of President Clinton, but his scrutiny of the website led to a half dozen clandestine arrests of posters who were not guarded in their exercise of free speech. In 2001, Barbara, a lifelong hermaphrodite, underwent surgery, and became a male transsexual. In 2002, Jack Barbara met an idealistic young business man, named John Deere. Deere was a former Free Republic poster, a radical libertarian, and one of the foremost proponents of Anarcho-Capitalism. Together, the two men decided to create a new forum dedicated to the discussion and fostering of economic and social theories of Anarcho-Capitalism. While Mr. Deere was indisputably the head and creator of Liberty Forum, Barbara was always the sinister figure in the background, ready to support Deere with a mysterious cash flow called E-gold, in the background. By his participation in the founding of Liberty Forum, Jack Barbara was naturally continuing his life-long work of undermining American rightwing movements. Unfortunately, like Dr. Frankenstein, Barbara’s partial creation, Liberty Forum grew into a might website of monumental proportions. By 2004, Liberty Forum had some twelve-thousand posters and had become a great force for the fostering of the Anarcho-Capitalism on the World Wide Web. Barbara’s superiors warned him that he must demoralize and destroy the website as an effective force for liberty, or face the consequences. Immediately, the intrepid and highly-skilled agent went to work. Using half a dozen computers, in half a dozen states, he assumed half a dozen Internet personalities, personalities who would live forever in the minds their enemies and admirers, alike. Personalities like Newswatcher, and The Skunk, As The Skunk, Barbara posted news stories and parodies, which, while they were amusing, brought the taint of anti-Semitism upon Liberty Forum. As Newswatcher, with his mad antics, and insane banter, he lured some of the greatest minds of Liberty Forum , like OWK and Weikel, away from their serious contemplation of Liberty to exchange childish insults with him. So involved did Barbara become in this persona that Newswatcher, the obese, ghey redneck became his alter-ego. Altogether, Barbara’s personas attracted thousands of non-libertarian, ant-Semitic kooks to Liberty Forum, like flies were attracted to Newswatcher’s nose. Yet John Deere refused to be daunted by the odds. He continued to strive for Liberty and maintain his forum. Then, in 2004, Barbara decided to take the ultimate step. He brutally murdered Deere, and shipped his body to Sweden, where it was received by Eir, a Liberty Forum poster, and lobotomized Swedish pagan. She and her band of Wiccans worshipped the body as that of the Mother’s son, and then partook of it, with mustard before burying it in Stone Henge. None of John Deere’s Anarcho-Capitalist friends ever cared to find out what happened to him, because they were all Rugged Individualists who believed in the doctrine of Every Man for Himself, as articulated by OWK. The way was now open for Jack Barbara to assume complete control over Liberty Forum and lead it to destruction. After OWK’s abortive coup of 2005 failed, Barbara took complete control of Liberty Forum, with his confederate, Julien Brouwer, a young British journalist, who has been posting on right-wing forums for years, while researching for his book, Inside the Beast, a chronicle of the far-rightwing in the U.S. which he plans to publish in England for fear of reprisal.

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