AzNs

From Speakeasy

The Chinks are filty, filthy people and the end of the world
as we know it will have its genesis in some Cantonese chicken
farm where some nasty microbes decide to gut the world of
people. - Niccolo and Donkey

All AzN people are in fact Chinese, regardless of claiming to be Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, etc. They all originated in China at some point. AzNs are the smartest people in the world and all of them are good at math, even the retarded ones. When it comes to activities involving creativity such as music and art, they tend to lag behind Europeans. Unlike black people AzNs have no rhythm whatsoever and as a result cannot sing, rap or dance at all. But this does not stop them from trying. Traditional Chinese opera music sounds like someone giving a cat in heat hits of helium while bashing frying pans together, which incidentally is also a lot like how a traditional Chinese kitchen sounds. AzN men have the tiniest weiners in the world and as a result are noticeably absent from most pr0n films, except for those made in Asia itself. Asian women are prized by men worldwide for their tiny poontangs and submissive attitude. Asian mail-order brides are one of the top imports in Scandinavia. The bedroom practices of AzN people are notoriously boring.

Contents

AzN phrases

  • You want sucky sucky? 5 dorra, prease.
  • Me so horny. Me rove you rong time.
  • Me washy shirt.

AzN inventions

  • Accupuncture and assorted pseudoscience
  • Gunpowder/fireworks
  • Scary viral epidemics
  • Chinese water torture
  • Chinese checkers
  • Chinese finger trap
  • Fortune cookies
  • Kung-fu
  • Soccer(?)
  • Kites

Confusion over the British term "Asian"

Brits use the word "Asian" to refer to people from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh. Technically this part of the world is known as the Indian Sub-Continent, however the phrase "Indian Sub-Continenter" would be too cumbersome and it may offend Pakistanis who don't like to be called Indian. Americans call these ethnic groups "brown people," "Indians," "Pakis," "dotheads" "Apu," "Elephant-worshipping 7-11 owners," or "towelheads," in everyday parlance, depending on the religious orientation in question. The brown peoples do not have much of a connection to AzNs, except for some Tibetan-type AzNs who are indigenous to India, and some Mongol-type people in Pakistan.

Chiggers

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Chiggers are the AzN equivalent to wiggers. The philosophy behind it seems to be an identity crisis of not totally fitting in with whites, so they adopt the opposite persona of a ghetto black "gangsta" mentality. This doesn't win them any real props among the brothas, who still burn down Korean-owned stores when it comes time to race riot.

2zi7nr4.jpg

Chiggermobile aka rice rocket, wiggers also have a boner for these

Dance Dance Revolution

mad skillz

Despite not being able to dance, all AzNs are good at Dance Dance Revolution. DDR involves mechanical, repetitive movements which AzNs quickly master. Setting an AzN child on the DDR dance pad is akin to giving a Jewish child books on accounting and high finance, such skills come naturally.

Bad drivers

AzNs are bad drivers. True.

Famous AzNs

  • Jackie Chan
  • Bruce Lee
  • Chairman Mao
  • Lucy Liu
  • Connie Chung

See also

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