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Vagina

From Randomramblings

Contents

Introduction

A sexual organ possesed by the mythical wimmins. Some recent studies have shown that some internet-dwelling sentients posses them, though true occurrences of this phenomenon are rare.

A Closer Look

You're never going to get one, because you're an internet-using geekboy. However, we will teach you all about them, so that you know exactly what you're missing and why it's worth slicing lines in your wrists over.

What is a vagina?

Generally found in the vicinity of the belly-button (often hidden behind a cleverly-disguised trap door) is a big giant gaping hole. It is filled with strawberry jam, which sometimes leaks out. This is why women are so angry once a month. They are mad because they never have any bread on hand when it happens.

The opening to the vagina has a whole bunch of razor-like fangs lining it in a ring. Sometimes, when they sense foreign objects, they bite down hard. When this happens, you have to marry the girl because you can never have sex again (and everyone knows married couples don't ever have sex).

Lastly, they will all give you horrible diseases that make your bits fall off and your voice get high and your manly chest hair go away. And you don't want that.

The Only Solution

Is to stay a virgin forever. You may accomplish this by continuing to live in your mother's basement. Just like you're doing now! GOOD JOB, SOLDIER!

Vaginal Real Estate

Some vaginas (or vagoos, as they are called in the scientific community) are actually hospitable to human life, and thus may be lived in. All vaginas are equiped with wireless internet.

Pics Or It Didn't Happen

There are still some skeptics who question the existence of vaginas. They claim vaginas are just myths, or government conspiracies. That is why Pornography (Porno coming form the latin word for "vagina", and "graphy" coming from the latin word for proof) was invented, and distributed: to help prove vaginas are, in fact, real.

Infestations

Occasionally, some vaginas may become infected with centipedes, or other, equally disgusting things. Such things are more likely than most women think.

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