DOZEN
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According to String Theory, there are Twelve Fundamental Cheeses and three noble cheeses that, as a group, constitute all matter in the universe. These fifteen cheeses are central to the theory of Quantum cheddardynamics
Contents |
History
Beginnings
The first to discover that Cheese was the basic element was Socrates:
"The basic element of which all matter consists is cheese. There is an exchange of cheese for all things and of all things for cheese."
~ Socrates
The Fetamental Cheeses
In the year 1422, ironically also the year of the cheese, a rogue syndicate of Feta monks staged a coup of history. They attempted to replace every mentioning of the 'Fundamental Cheeses' with the phrase 'Fetamental Cheeses'.
Their deeds were thwarted however by a poisonous Blue Cheese being mixed with their quiches the night before their attack. The identity of the asassin is unknown.
Scientific Conclusion
The twelve fundamental cheeses were brought into existence as a result of The Cheese String Theory Incident. We're still not entirely sure where the 3 Noble Cheeses came from however to classify as a noble cheese you have to be a cheese which, when divided by the number of holes on each side equals the sum of the hypotenuse of the slice that you made.
