Diego
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| - | '''Diego''' - A forumer from Spartanburg, SC. Have been posting in the forum since mid. 2006. | + | '''Diego''' - A forumer from Spartanburg, SC. Have been posting in the forum since mid. 2006. He is now editing his own post in this article. He hates everything in existence, except you. He loves you. Also, now that you've read this much, you love him too. |
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| + | Too bad your love isn't good enough. He is a very needy person. He requires much attention. This may be due to the fact that he was ignored as a child. He was born in Oaxaca, Mexico, under the name Jose Jesus Fransesco Guadalupe Frances Julio Jimenez. He was worked day and night. He was required to pick over 9000 beans every day, with his bare hands, or he would get the "stick". The "stick", of course, was something he did not like. Though honestly, it wasn't a stick. It didn't even come from a tree. It was something much more diabolical, and it would infiltrate him if he did not meet his work quota. | ||
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| + | As you can probably tell, he did not like his life in Oaxaca. So, once he hit the age of 10 (the legal age in Mexico for everything, including purchasing alcohol, selling drugs, and mating with donkeys), he ran away from his home. However, he did not know where he could go. So, like every other Mexican citizen, he decided to go to the USA. To do this, however, he would need to get past the border. So, he ran for 2 months straight, all the way to the USA/Mexican border. He had spoken with a few Mexicans who had tried and failed, and he knew how he must get through. He would wait until nightfall, and climb underneath a vehicle that was going into the US. This meant he would have to hold on to the bottom of the car for quite a while. However, his determination to get away from the "stick" was more than enough to give him the strength to hold on. | ||
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| + | After executing this foolproof plan, he found himself in Texas. The people there spoke in a weird tongue, and they all wore clothes, as opposed to the burlap sacks he was used to seeing the adults wear. He stood in awe for at least 100 minutes, until a couple approached him. The man looked like the men he was used to seeing, but the woman was different, as she was white. They looked at him for a while, and then when no one was looking, they grabbed him and ran back to their 1985 station wagon, and drove all the way to South Carolina. | ||
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| + | When they got back, they decided to feed him, as he was badly malnutritioned, and would possibly die if he didn't get anything to eat or drink. Afterwards, they told the US government that he had been found in a dumpster behind a 7-11, so they requested if they could keep him. They were allowed to keep him. Of course, they did not like his original name, so they renamed him William Diego Bautista. He was sent to school, where he was taught to speak English, amongst other things (he was even allowed to learn math, something that was a forbidden art in Mexico). He was given a computer, and he became an asshole. This is the man you know now. This was his story. | ||
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| + | Fin. | ||
Revision as of 23:34, 6 June 2008
Diego - A forumer from Spartanburg, SC. Have been posting in the forum since mid. 2006. He is now editing his own post in this article. He hates everything in existence, except you. He loves you. Also, now that you've read this much, you love him too.
Too bad your love isn't good enough. He is a very needy person. He requires much attention. This may be due to the fact that he was ignored as a child. He was born in Oaxaca, Mexico, under the name Jose Jesus Fransesco Guadalupe Frances Julio Jimenez. He was worked day and night. He was required to pick over 9000 beans every day, with his bare hands, or he would get the "stick". The "stick", of course, was something he did not like. Though honestly, it wasn't a stick. It didn't even come from a tree. It was something much more diabolical, and it would infiltrate him if he did not meet his work quota.
As you can probably tell, he did not like his life in Oaxaca. So, once he hit the age of 10 (the legal age in Mexico for everything, including purchasing alcohol, selling drugs, and mating with donkeys), he ran away from his home. However, he did not know where he could go. So, like every other Mexican citizen, he decided to go to the USA. To do this, however, he would need to get past the border. So, he ran for 2 months straight, all the way to the USA/Mexican border. He had spoken with a few Mexicans who had tried and failed, and he knew how he must get through. He would wait until nightfall, and climb underneath a vehicle that was going into the US. This meant he would have to hold on to the bottom of the car for quite a while. However, his determination to get away from the "stick" was more than enough to give him the strength to hold on.
After executing this foolproof plan, he found himself in Texas. The people there spoke in a weird tongue, and they all wore clothes, as opposed to the burlap sacks he was used to seeing the adults wear. He stood in awe for at least 100 minutes, until a couple approached him. The man looked like the men he was used to seeing, but the woman was different, as she was white. They looked at him for a while, and then when no one was looking, they grabbed him and ran back to their 1985 station wagon, and drove all the way to South Carolina.
When they got back, they decided to feed him, as he was badly malnutritioned, and would possibly die if he didn't get anything to eat or drink. Afterwards, they told the US government that he had been found in a dumpster behind a 7-11, so they requested if they could keep him. They were allowed to keep him. Of course, they did not like his original name, so they renamed him William Diego Bautista. He was sent to school, where he was taught to speak English, amongst other things (he was even allowed to learn math, something that was a forbidden art in Mexico). He was given a computer, and he became an asshole. This is the man you know now. This was his story.
Fin.
