ChibiMe

From Egs Mayhem

ChibiMe is one of the Mes, and contains compressed in his tiny and cute form all of the hatred and malice that could possibly fit.

Contents

Description:

ChibiMe is roughly three feet and six inches tall, wears glasses and an aloha shirt, and has truly massive eyes. He is a chibi, and his body is proportioned as such. In his early days he carried a massive mallet (the namesake of the Hammer o' Justice). Now he usually carries a screwdriver or a heavily and illegally modified TF Gun.

History:

Origin:

ChibiMe's origin is shrouded in the mists of time and thousands upon thousands of posts, but it is apparent that he was born or created in the cutest depths of the Chibi Gag Reel. He somehow escaped his confinement therein and fled to LPW, where he took up gamboling about, glomping, cuddling, ticklefests, and the other standard practices of that new world.

The Call of the Dark Side:

ChibiMe acted, originally, much as do the other denizens of LPW. In those days, hammerings were far more popular than they have become now, and ChibiMe was fond of delivering them to those who thought naughty thoughts. This was in the days when the Tasteful Curtain was still a new invention, and its widespread use had not yet entirely caught on. As a result, there was no shortage of dirty-minded males for ChibiMe to bludgeon.

Then he met Lommy. Lomgren, back then, was also new to the area, and instantly became a hit with the local ladies. Though not yet named as such, the Lommy Treatment was invented within a week. While Lomgren showed intense embarrassment at the...situations... in which he was being placed, only ChibiMe realized how much he truly enjoyed it. He took it upon himself to hammer Lomgren for his perverted thoughts, since no one else could see through the fact that he was six inches tall and kinda cute.

At first, ChibiMe's hammerings were somewhat normal. But, as Lommy and his conspirators grew more clever (and as they began to use Tasteful Curtains to protect themselves from hammerings), ChibiMe's desire to deliver what he had come to see as "justice" became an obsession. Finally, he succumbed to the Dark Side of the Hammer, and began his first project as a mad scientist. Filled with the power granted to him upon his creation as a Me, he excelled in that field, and he abducted Lomgren in a flying saucer operated by himself and several lemurs (including Freddy the Lemur)and strapped the unwitting anthrofeline into the first version of the Hammerator. Lomgren escaped, destroying the Hammerator in the process and, violently expelling ChibiMe from the saucer, he freed the lemurs and they gratefully brought him back home. To this day, Lommy has the gratitude of the lemur population, and the flying saucer will answer his call if he gets in contact with it.

ChibiMe survived, however, and swore revenge upon Lommy for ruining his plan. He began to create hordes of machines designed to kill his new nemesis, and would probably have succeeded were it not for the interference of Sage.

Page 666:

On the six-hundred and sixty-sixth page of LPW, ChibiMe became infused with enough evil energy to BECOME evil incarnate. This manifested most obviously in his sudden ability to speak in red text and his propensity to say things such as "I have become Evil Incarnate!" in angry tones of voice. He stole the godslaying bullets created by some nameless godmoder to battle Sage's attempts to prevent him/her from annoyingly trying to blow things up. With these new weapons, ChibiMe attempted to destroy the deity, eliminating all that stood in the way of his vendetta against Lomgren. His attempt failed as page 666 ended before his plot could come to fruition, but he kept the bullets and has since forged more of them aboard the Hammer o' Justice. In the aftermath of Page 666, ChibiMe added Sage to his List of People to Do Bad Stuff To.

The Hammer o' Justice:

In the present era, ChibiMe lives alone aboard the Hammer o' Justice, a titanic space station named after the hammer with which he used to smite Lomgren so long ago. For a while, the Ho'J, as it is often referred to, was also home to KittyPACA, one of PAC's avatars and a love-interest who was gradually turning ChibiMe good again (primarily by wrapping a tasteful curtain around the entire space station and endeavoring to give Sage a heart attack). With her disappearance and that of PAC, however, he fell into an even blacker mood than before, and has begun his quest for evil with renewed vigor.

Abilities:

ChibiMe has demonstrated many useful abilities, which come in handy often due to his frequent conflicts of interest with everybody else.

  • Flight: Though he's not used the talent since he began to build spaceships, ChibiMe can fly, regardless of his lack of wings.
  • Mad Science: ChibiMe is constantly armed with concealed weaponry. Yes, even in the bathtub. He also wields the formidable armaments of the Hammer o' Justice. He's built thousands of deathbots, the lingeriebot, Computer, and most recently, the dental nanites. He isn't entirely a robotics specialist, and has shown interests also in weapons development technologies and genetic engineering, sometimes fusing his science with dark magic to create such horrors as the godslaying bullets and Auth.
  • Puppy Dog Eyes: As a Chibi, ChibiMe mastered the Puppy Dog Eyes long before he even came to LPW.

Weaknesses:

ChibiMe, like all villains, does have certain chinks in the armor.

  • Hot chibi girls: He'll do anything they ask.
  • Overwhelming Cuteness: When too much cuteness is focused into one area (c.f; Deiwos), it creates ripples in the space-cute continuum which call to ChibiMe's original, cute, nature. This causes internal battles between his old self and his new self, which cause severe migraines. ChibiMe can usually feel the beginnings of such a cuteness-crisis, and can order one of his mechanoid minions to render him unconscious before he is forced to seek out whatever other cuteness is calling to him and cuddle with it. He refers to this weakness as Snow-White Syndrome, though it's actually the reverse of that condition.

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