Jeremy Clarkson

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Mmm, children.

Jeremy Clarkson is the world's most famous child catcher. More famously, he is the only person is the world to be voted a bastard and an anti-bastard in the same year. Also, Clarkson was voted the person 'people would hate to love', and to this day, baffles the minds of scientists to why people like him.

Contents

Cars

Clarkson is a strong believer in cars, and still drives them, although driving was outlawed by David Tennant. Clarkson has driven almost 20,000 cars in his lifetime, and was the major contribution to global warming until global warming was banished to Mars in 2007. Clarkson has over 400 cars in his garage, although he cannot drive. He is also the current champion on Gran Turismo 4. Clarkson still drives new cars on the television programme, Top Gear, shown weekly on Pee3.

Child Catching

After a brief cameo in the film Shitty Shitty, Bang Bang as the child catcher, Clarkson soon took up the sport of catching a child in a net and then throwing them to the dogs. He was fined in 2004 for using Haribo and pictures of Teletubbies to lure children (considered illegal in the sport), but soon rose to become the world's number 3 child catcher.

Newspaper article about Clarkson's "socking fetish".

Trivia

  • Clarkson invented the tractor.
  • Recently discovered to be a socker.

Live webcam

Live footage from Clarkson's BBC News studio:
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See also

The Importance of Red Socking
Famous sockers Rich Costey | Zane Lowe | Nogli
Related articles Green Socking | Blue Socking | Christmas Socking | Rainbow Socking
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