System of Rating Girls' Attractiveness

From The Extended Group

c4tbocd sitaccoc There have been several systems of rating girls' attractiveness implemented throughout high school and college. These generally rely on esoteric metaphors or otherwise absurd means of judging the physical beauty of various girls encountered.

Contents

The Pie System

The Pie System was one of the premier ways of gauging female attractiveness. The "pie factor" was determined by how much pie the female in question could ingest and yet still remain attractive. To fine-tune the scale, pies with varying degrees of messiness were implemented. Chocolate pie was widely determined to be the most disgusting, and thus was indicative of an extremely attractive female.

GPA system

As most science classes are curved at around 2.7, so an average girl's attractiveness also is equivolent to 2.7 in this system. For each standard deviation above or below this mean, attractiveness increases or decreases accordingly, 4.0 being the most attractive and 0.0 being the most repulsive.

Bah-Guff system

Proceeds as follows:

  • Guff guff
  • Guff
  • Guff-Bah
  • Bah (average)
  • Bah-Cute
  • Cute
  • Cute-Cute

The "Hottest on Page" system

At times (2001-2003?), especially during times of inactivity, many would gather around yearbooks in Terry's basement and as each page was presented, the most attractive girl would be selected by group members and then shared. This method was particularly useful when it was thought that Lukas's standards for women were impossibly high (partially based off of his Sophomore and Junior crush on a future Miss Washington winner) and when people wanted to see what his tastes could be made human.

Binary System

Assuming girls are either "good enough" or "not good enough," this would be indicated by the binary operators "1" or "0," respectively.

The Scratching System

Always seeking more and innovative ways to degrade and compliment women in front of their face, Jamie devised a novel and furtive method to rate girls. Through the use of scratching ones body, one is able to indicate how "cute" a girl is depending on where the scratch occured relative to the body. Scratching one's head would be equivalent to a ten, while scratching anything below this would indicate a lower rating. This method works best in the company of friends versed in this system, especially while walking around campus, as they can easily detect your approval of a femme-type nearby.

See Also

Personal tools