Seaside Trip
From The Extended Group
During the final days of Spring Break 2006, it was decided that a trip should occur. During a hangout with Brett, Jeremy, and Stuart, plans were hatched because Brett's break had not been nearly exploitive enough up until that point. Lukas, being the only person available for a such a trip, was called (though not deliberate, this turned into a de facto "Pork" reunion) and after some deliberation, he agreed to accompany them the next morning.
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The Trip
Detours in Washington State
Jeremy was the chosen driver for the trip and he drove the family Honda Accord. Upon picking up the three other group members, a quick stop was made at Grease Monkey where a black man named "Lucas" took Jeremys car back for a checkup. After replacing the oil and one of the tail-lights, the expedition got started in earnest. Stopping only at Nordheim so that Brett could retrieve some Franzia boxed-wine from Jeremy's apartment, the group was headed southbound on I-5.
Brett suggested a stop at a chain called "Burgerville" in Centrailia claiming delicious burgers could be had there.(This recommendation seemed at odds with Brett's vegetarianism at the time, but possibly due to perceptions of his ironic lifestyle, this was not questioned). The burgers proved delicious but extremely underwhelming in terms of size. This prompted Lukas and later Stuart to cross the road to the AM/PM to get more burgers and soon the group was headed south again.
Per Stuart's advice, Brett and Stuart began slowly drinking a left-over box of Franzia (which two nights earlier had spawned the most inhuman form of Uncontrollable Jeremy to date) and had a contingency plan for elbowing the box back through the seats into the trunk should the car be pulled over. A smooth, uneventful trip lead the group West towards Astoria and across the Columbia River into the state of Oregon.
Arriving in Seaside
Driving down highway 101, the group finally pulled into Seaside in the later afternoon. It was rainy, windy, and cold and the town appeared mostly empty of tourists. Several hotels were looked at, with the Ebb Tide offering $90 for a double with partial ocean view or $100 for a triple with full view. They said if that was too much, the cheapest place in town was down the block with no ocean view whatsoever. Brett and Lukas went over to check it out, but beat a hasty exit after they offered $70, but with very shady looking rooms and owners. The group headed back to the Ebb Tide and sprang for the $100 room with the view. Because of the proximity to the beach, it was decided to try to enter the water at some point.
Brett insisted he needed board-shorts, so they went to the local mall in search of some. Brett was sold a pair of shorts by an aging surfer with long hair, who insisted they were size Large (but upon recent inspection, clearly state "Extra Small" on the tag). These proved to be too small, and thus scissors were employed to loosen the waistline. The term "ridiculous solutions to everyday problems" was immediately coined as being a primary tool in Brett's problem-solving arsenal. With a temperature in the high 40's and cold rain falling in the wind, the trip to the beach was unpleasant at best, but several charges were mounted into the frigid Pacific Ocean. Retreating from the waves, the now soaking quartet wondered what to do next. Numb legs and soaking shirts convinced them that the swimming pool would be a good place to re-establish body-temperature. After swimming for a bit, the guys alternately sat in the hot-tub or the sauna until heat-exhaustion threatened.
Nighttime Exploits
After showers, it was decided to find a place for dinner. The idea of buying a live lobster and cooking it was bandied about, but it was deemed unfeasible both due to cost and the lack of a suitable pot. Most of the places in town were slightly too expensive to justify, so a search was made outside of Seaside proper. At long last, a place called "Bigfoot's Pub & Grub" was located next to Highway 101, and a unanimous decision was reached to eat there. The decor inside was reminiscent of a log-cabin with hardwood everywhere and a large stuffed sasquatch in the middle. The menus were in the form of a small-town newspaper, and food was heavy on pub-grub stables such as burgers, steaks, seafood, etc. One item that especially impressed the group members was the Bigfoot burger, which claimed to be 32oz in size. Although tempting, Lukas decided to get BBQ chicken, Brett the Collossal Clam-Strips, Stuart the Cheeseburger, and Jeremy the "Broast Chicken".
After going to QFC to buy snacks and some exceedingly cheap cigars, Jeremy at the urging of others, drove through a huge puddle several times sending water spraying everywhere. Heading back to the hotel, the four group members relaxed for a while while discussing matters of great importance. Sometime around midnight, it was decided to go out to Cannon Beach to attempt to set off some fireworks. Brett and Stuart had been hitting the Franzia and were in high spirits. A long-standing argument between the two prompted Jeremy to declare that they had reverted to the throes of the "old dynamic."
After almost getting lost several times, finally Jeremy steered the group to an adequate location some smaller fireworks were set off to no great excitement, and so the cigars were broken out and smoked on the walk down the beach towards the haystack rock. Some foolish turns in the dark ended up soaking the feet of several group members as they mistakenly forded streams without seeing them. Finally around 2 AM the group decided to head back to the hotel, with Stuart and Brett arguing in an animated fashion for most of the way back. After some deliberation as to sleeping arrangements, it was settled and the group slept heavily till approximately 8 the next morning.
The Trip Back
After packing up it was decided to eat at the "Pig'n Pancake" a small Dennys-like establishment that seemed to specialize in breakfast foods. Biscuits and gravy, pancakes, coffee and omelettes were among items ordered. After stopping to inquire about the lost disposible camera, the group decided to beat a path out of town back to Seattle so Brett could have a CAT scan and Lukas could see about going to a PTW show. The ride home was uneventful and the group returned to Shoreline by 2PM.
Catchphrases of the Trip
- "Reallllyyyy?"
- "Awwwwww"
- Pre-Cog Rama
- "Ridiculous solutions to everyday problems"
- "Republicans are among the happiest people in the world. Do you know who else is happy? People with down syndrome!"
