Kevin's Crab-walking and Pearl Jam Incident
From The Extended Group
Kevin's Crab-walking and Pearl Jam Incident took place sometime during senior year, when Kevin and Chris were on a routine mission for yearbook. Naturally this meant wandering aimlessly through Shorewood's halls discussing random issues of great interest but little importance. After minutes of walking, the duo broke into song, unleashing a ridiculous rendition of "Alive" by Pearl Jam. The merry-making was put to a stop, however, when the menacing Mr. Green loomed unexpectedly around a nearby corner. In a blind panic, Kevin and Chris stopped their singing and sprinted away from the bewildered Mr. Green.
The Incident
After running away from Mr. Green, Kevin and Chris continued on their mission (the true nature of the task is unkown to this day). Once Mr. Green was supposedly out of range, Kevin inexplicably began to sing more Pearl Jam. As he did so, he crouched into a low squatting position and began to shuffle sideways while swinging his arms rhythmically and unleashing a rapid succession of loud farts. Before Chris could respond to this scene, a shocked and confused Shorewood staff member rounded the corner. The wide-eyed staff member ducked quickly into a nearby doorway with a look of horror and disbelief. Moments later, Kevin silenced his singing and his butt and returned to a standing position. Still unsure of their original mission, Kevin and Chris returned to yearbook, knowing that they had just made the world a better place.
