Vision For Direction: The Otiose Objectives

From 667darkavenue

This is Tragedy's posts in the Vision For Direction: The Otiose Objectives thread.

Here's what I've been building since January 1...

When I decided that 667 Dark Avenue could no longer rest in the hands of All Due Respect, I realized that removing her from power would not solve the slight problem the forum has faced over the past few months.

It began to stagnate because there was nothing to look forward to. There were no more goals to reach for. In previous years, there was always something on the horizon – increased membership, a newly released book, inspired discussion of the Series, even mention in the media. Even as the 13th book approached, you could feel the pace slowing. With the release of The Otiose Objectives, our mindset from now on must be that The End was really just the beginning.

The Otiose Objectives

667 Dark Avenue strives to…

1. Be granted a direct link on LemonySnicket.com and other official sites.

2. Become a vehicle for the promotion of Lemony Snicket merchandise.

3. Secure a page on Wikipedia, and/or a section on the current "A Series of Unfortunate Events" entry. Also, have an entry in the | SnickWiki

4. Establish affiliation with every Lemony Snicket website in existence.

5. Create a coordinated network of advertising. Details will only be revealed to those who pledge participate.

6. Compile the ultimate collection of information, profiles, articles, images and transcripts relating to "A Series of Unfortunate Events," becoming the ultimate resource for Snicket fans.

7. Encourage the development of the greatest fan-media and the most complete theories concerning remaining mysteries.

8. Continue to update the structure and layout of the forum to convey our commitment to the Series and to make navigation more convenient for all members.

9. Be presented with an original depiction of 667 Dark Avenue by Brett Helquist that can be used as a new banner.

10. Have a review of the forum written by Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket’s legal representative, complete with photographic evidence of Handler browsing 667.

11. Be sent an audio recording from the Gothic Archies or Tim Curry that endorses 667 Dark Avenue in some way.

12. Reach a NMV (Numerical Member Value) of 13,000 while maintaining active and meaningful posting in all boards of the forum.

13. Receive a desperate signed request from Lemony Snicket that, in short, begs us to stop posting.


These objectives are not set and can be changed at any given time. Some objectives are quite obviously impossible, especially numbers 9, 10, 11 and 13. This is intentional; it ensures that there’s always something to work toward.

Now the purpose of the new section “Hopeless Headquarters” should be obvious. The password is available by request, but you must state your intentions and specify which project(s) you plan to work on and how.

You may already see a flaw in the plan; many members no longer post about ASOUE. Some prefer the non-ASOUE sections, like Menacing Miscellaneous and Chaotic Creativity. The Otiose Objectives will not change the social side of 667 Dark Avenue. I believe that the ASOUE sections will draw members in, and the social sections will keep them around. Part of the purpose of the Objectives is to strike a favorable balance between the ASOUE and non-ASOUE sections of the forum.

A new chapter in 667's history begins now - be a part of it.

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